Big Kid Problems.
If you have a kid at the top of the growth charts, you know all about this. Nothing fits. If it does, it doesn't fit for long. The tall one was 25lbs at 6 months. So by the time it was developmentally appropriate to use something like a Jumperoo Neglectomatic, he was over the weight limit. I never knew the joy of contained baby fun after 6 months. It was like living with a diapered Godzilla.
It's not just the jumperoos though. Biking was where we felt this the most. When he was about 15 months, I got an iBert baby seat. It has one of the higher weight limits for a front loading seat at 38lbs. My kid loved it. We went on long 20 and 30 km bike rides along the seawall, though the park, everywhere really. That lasted one summer. By the time the next summer rolled around, he was over the weight limit. The rear mounted seats at the time only went a few lbs heavier than that, and he was right at the edge. Because he was a young two and a half, none of the solutions (trail a bikes, etc) which met the weight criteria were developmentally appropriate. Family biking was at an end until he could keep up on his own.
ENTER THE CARGO BIKE
Shortly before the car smashing debacle, I saw what I now know to be a Bakfiet cruising around one day. I did a bit of Googling, and dismissed the notion given how expensive they were. After the car was smashed though, I started doing more research into cargo bikes in general. I discovered the wonderful world of electric pedal assists, longtails, midtails, basket bikes. I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to take the plunge, so I did two things that I recommend anyone contemplating this do. First, I rented an electric bike for a week. I felt I would be a little weirded out by electric, and I wanted to see how functional it actually was.
Answer? VERY. I would love to bike to work, but it's about 10k each way, which isn't bad, but there are several hills, and not always a chance to shower. I'm also sometimes coming home at 1 in the morning. None of these were a problem with an electric bike. I was still pedaling, but the hills disappeared, my commute was faster, and I still smelled civilized. It was fantastic.
The second thing I did was a weekend trip to Portland (with the body shop loaner car.) I tried out a basket bike (if I had an unlimited budget, I would get one. So much fun), a Yuba Mundo, and an Xtracycle. While they advertise themselves as all being able to carry a couple hundred pounds of offspring, I wanted to see if my kid could handle it. He totally could.
I can't explain how happy having this option makes me. My son outgrew being a bike passenger, but he doesn't understand why. When I try to explain that he's over the weight limit, it's not something he can understand at this point. He always wants to go on bikes, and is constantly trying to climb on mine.
After much debate and weighing the pros and cons (financial and otherwise!), I decided on the Pedego Stretch. My car was finished at the body shop, I sold it and walked into the bike shop and purchased the first Stretch to be sold in Canada.
Unfortunately, the tall one was at his dad's for the weekend, and the Yepp Maxi childseat I ordered for the short one was held up in customs. So fancy new bike, and I was unable to ride it anywhere for the first few days.
***
I got sidetracked and didn't get past this and publish. It's now been almost a month, and the kids and I LOVE commuting via bike. I'll do an updated post.
Friday, June 26, 2015
Monday, June 22, 2015
Car Free Without Being a Douche, Part 1
You are two parents. You are the parent that you are going to be before you have kids and know everything there is about kids, then there is the parent you become after you have kids and realize you don't know shit. Part of this is realizing the importance of leading by example. What do your everyday choices say to your kids? About the importance of community or environment?
One aspect where this has come into play is with transportation. I've always loved cars, but with kids there aren'tmany any practical options which are fun to drive. Resigning myself to my fate, I got rid of the kicking rad 6 speed and purchased a Ford Flex the month after the short one was born. Yes, it did the job. It carried my children safely from point A to point B (And C, D, E, F...),with a minimum of fuss. It just wasn't any fun. I was bored, and when it feels like you're constantly taking the kids places, you realize how much of their time is just sitting in the car. Some of that is unavoidable, but it really felt like wasted time. All of this time was spent focusing on my kids' growth and development, but then so much time is just spent sitting there.
Then it hit me. Literally - on the way back from a run at the beach with the short one and the dog, we were smashed into by a Japanese compact. Everyone was fine, but my car was barely repairable, which meant I spent two and a half months without a car. I was allowed a loaner car, but I was curious to see, given this opportunity, how much I would actually use one.
The first step was to get a bus pass and start taking transit to do the preschool drop off. The biggest issue here was the location of where we were renting. Because it's a ridiculously wealthy area on the way to the university (lot price starts at 2 million, and that's for a teardown - I'm not ridiculously wealthy, we were renting one of those houses waiting to be torn down), you don't get a lot of transit users. There are some semi regular buses, but they're non-existent on the weekends and in the summer. This was a short term problem since we were planning on moving anyway.
What was interesting about taking the bus is how educational it is for a kid in an urban setting. There's the social aspect of greeting the driver and sitting next to other people and kids on the bus. You can't dawdle, because otherwise the bus just gets going. Pulling the cord for your stop means kids start to learn a bit more about their neighborhood, where they live, and where they go. Sitting in a car just doesn't require any sort of attention. He's knows generally where we're going based on what streets I turn down, but there's no participation. He now knows the skytrain stations, and which ones are where we catch the bus, which one is his preschool, and most importantly, which one has a smoothie stand.
It's also just more enjoyable for him. He loves trains and buses. One of our rewards is being able to watch skytrain videos (yes, they exist.) Trains are practically a diagnostic criteria for autism. He was never into Thomas the Train all that much, but actual trains and public transit have always held a certain fascination. It's nice being able to have a keen interest of his translate into something that could be a useful skill for him.
The public transit experiment has been a success. We've recently (as of 3 weeks ago), moved into a new house which is located right next to a major transit intersection which means it's more convenient than before.
The second part of the experiment? Biking. To be continued, with the subtitle "Big Kid Problems."
One aspect where this has come into play is with transportation. I've always loved cars, but with kids there aren't
Then it hit me. Literally - on the way back from a run at the beach with the short one and the dog, we were smashed into by a Japanese compact. Everyone was fine, but my car was barely repairable, which meant I spent two and a half months without a car. I was allowed a loaner car, but I was curious to see, given this opportunity, how much I would actually use one.
The first step was to get a bus pass and start taking transit to do the preschool drop off. The biggest issue here was the location of where we were renting. Because it's a ridiculously wealthy area on the way to the university (lot price starts at 2 million, and that's for a teardown - I'm not ridiculously wealthy, we were renting one of those houses waiting to be torn down), you don't get a lot of transit users. There are some semi regular buses, but they're non-existent on the weekends and in the summer. This was a short term problem since we were planning on moving anyway.
What was interesting about taking the bus is how educational it is for a kid in an urban setting. There's the social aspect of greeting the driver and sitting next to other people and kids on the bus. You can't dawdle, because otherwise the bus just gets going. Pulling the cord for your stop means kids start to learn a bit more about their neighborhood, where they live, and where they go. Sitting in a car just doesn't require any sort of attention. He's knows generally where we're going based on what streets I turn down, but there's no participation. He now knows the skytrain stations, and which ones are where we catch the bus, which one is his preschool, and most importantly, which one has a smoothie stand.
It's also just more enjoyable for him. He loves trains and buses. One of our rewards is being able to watch skytrain videos (yes, they exist.) Trains are practically a diagnostic criteria for autism. He was never into Thomas the Train all that much, but actual trains and public transit have always held a certain fascination. It's nice being able to have a keen interest of his translate into something that could be a useful skill for him.
The public transit experiment has been a success. We've recently (as of 3 weeks ago), moved into a new house which is located right next to a major transit intersection which means it's more convenient than before.
The second part of the experiment? Biking. To be continued, with the subtitle "Big Kid Problems."
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Fuck you lady
Mayim Bialik would like you all to know that she supports vaccinations.
Except Mayim doesn't seem to understand what a rumor is. She has stated publicly that they are a non vaccinating family. That's not a rumor, that's a statement she has made both in interviews and in the pages of her book.
But actually she would rather not talk about it. So why do you discuss it in interviews, in books, and sign up to represent antivaccination organizations? Oh, but you DO vaccinate, and all this talk is just rumors floating around the internet. OK. Convenient timing. It's also convenient that you get to be a celebrity, publicly endorse healthcare decisions for your children (and let's face it, other people's children too), that fly in the face of everything we have learned through science over the past couple hundred years, then tell everyone to shut up when they point out you're full of shit.
She also recommends, as someone who holds herself up as a PhD in science and a role model for women in STEM, a book that advocates for an alternative vaccination schedule. A book which was subject to no peer review and written by a pediatrician with no training in public health or immunology. Who publicly admitted that there was no science behind his recommendations. What sort of cognitive dissonance is required for those kinds of mental gymnastics?
Clearly, Mayim Bialik is, or was, antivaccine. There's no point in denying it. If she has truly changed her stance, which would be wonderful, why doesn't she pen a heartfelt blog or whatever about how she came around, saw the light, did some actual research, and got her children caught up? There's no shame in being wrong. Many people, who are much smarter than her, have gotten things wrong. Why dig her heels in now? If she wants to be an advocate for science, this is such an excellent opportunity to show how important it is to have a lack of ego. To learn.
Of course, if you just need to make a statement to keep your sponsors happy, a quick FB post denouncing rumors is really all you need to do.
i would like to dispel the rumors about my stance on vaccines. i am not anti-vaccine. my children are vaccinated. there has been so much hysteria and anger about this issue and i hope this clears things up as far as my part.
Except Mayim doesn't seem to understand what a rumor is. She has stated publicly that they are a non vaccinating family. That's not a rumor, that's a statement she has made both in interviews and in the pages of her book.
But actually she would rather not talk about it. So why do you discuss it in interviews, in books, and sign up to represent antivaccination organizations? Oh, but you DO vaccinate, and all this talk is just rumors floating around the internet. OK. Convenient timing. It's also convenient that you get to be a celebrity, publicly endorse healthcare decisions for your children (and let's face it, other people's children too), that fly in the face of everything we have learned through science over the past couple hundred years, then tell everyone to shut up when they point out you're full of shit.
She also recommends, as someone who holds herself up as a PhD in science and a role model for women in STEM, a book that advocates for an alternative vaccination schedule. A book which was subject to no peer review and written by a pediatrician with no training in public health or immunology. Who publicly admitted that there was no science behind his recommendations. What sort of cognitive dissonance is required for those kinds of mental gymnastics?
Clearly, Mayim Bialik is, or was, antivaccine. There's no point in denying it. If she has truly changed her stance, which would be wonderful, why doesn't she pen a heartfelt blog or whatever about how she came around, saw the light, did some actual research, and got her children caught up? There's no shame in being wrong. Many people, who are much smarter than her, have gotten things wrong. Why dig her heels in now? If she wants to be an advocate for science, this is such an excellent opportunity to show how important it is to have a lack of ego. To learn.
Of course, if you just need to make a statement to keep your sponsors happy, a quick FB post denouncing rumors is really all you need to do.
Friday, January 30, 2015
The Plot Thickens
I really don't know how I feel about this.
My sons and myself all had blood drawn in order to contribute to Dr. Scherer's research. When an article was published last year highlighting some of his work, I immediately got in contact and begged for my children to be included. My youngest was less than a year old, and I was desperate for any answers. While he very graciously allowed us to be included, the results are a long time coming. Hopefully we'll have some answers by summer.
My hope was that someone could point to a glitch in the tall one's genetic code, and say, "Look! Here it is! This is why!" I was hoping that the same person could point to the short one's code and say that the glitch isn't there. As time passes, I realize more and more that it's a little more complicated than that.
Research on 85 families found that siblings with autism had the same genetic risk factors less than one third of the time. In nearly 70% of cases, tests on the siblings revealed little or no overlap in the mutations known to contribute to the condition.
The findings challenge the presumption that the same genetic risk factors are at work when autism runs in families. “We knew that there were many differences in autism, but our recent findings firmly nail that down,” said Stephen Scherer at the University of Toronto.
My sons and myself all had blood drawn in order to contribute to Dr. Scherer's research. When an article was published last year highlighting some of his work, I immediately got in contact and begged for my children to be included. My youngest was less than a year old, and I was desperate for any answers. While he very graciously allowed us to be included, the results are a long time coming. Hopefully we'll have some answers by summer.
My hope was that someone could point to a glitch in the tall one's genetic code, and say, "Look! Here it is! This is why!" I was hoping that the same person could point to the short one's code and say that the glitch isn't there. As time passes, I realize more and more that it's a little more complicated than that.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
The Autiest Place on Earth
You'll often hear talk from parents of how their autistic children seem to have a special affinity for all things Disney. I honestly thought that my son would be the exception, until we went to Disneyland.
To start, the last time I visited one of the Disney parks was at least 20 years ago. They had only just opened up Indiana Jones, and "Colors of the Wind" was on a continual play loop throughout the park.
I had been doing some looking into going there for Christmas 2013, but research quickly showed the yuletide season to be one of the busiest of the year. Combine that with premium air and hotel prices, and well - the idea loses its appeal pretty quickly. I still had a lot of credit card points burning a hole in my pocket, so I managed to plan a spur of the moment, last minute (as in, day before!) trip in February 2014. It's pretty amazing when you think about it, especially given that the tall one's dad can be difficult to deal with. Luckily he had some work to do around his condo and it worked out better for me to take the kid off his hands. So away we went!
Mousesavers proved to be an invaluable resource. Through them we found the Howard Johnson Hotel across the street from the resort. They had a great rate and a little pirate ship playground that the tall one loved. After a ridiculously early morning flight, we grabbed some brunch then it was off to the park!
Disney is magic. Everything just seems a little brighter walking in. The first order of business, and what truly made this trip possible, was a trip to pick up the Disability Access Card. It's predecessor, the Guest Access Pass was the one which allowed you to simply walk up to the front of the line and get on the ride. This approach led to several abuses, most notably the disturbing trend of well-to-do families hiring individuals with disabilities to escort them through the parks so that they could avoid the lines. The current program doesn't allow for this. Now pick a ride to go on, and they will give you a return time for that attraction. You're still waiting, but the difference it you aren't waiting in the line and can fill you time however you wish. I know a lot of bloggers have complained at great length about this approach. All I can say is it works wonderfully for us, and is fair in that it doesn't allow us to skip ahead of other people. It's really exciting being able to take a "normal" vacation. Without this option, Disneyland wouldn't even be in the realm of possibility.
The process of obtaining the card was easy, and the Cast Member offered to put our first ride right then and there. At his recommendation, we went for Peter Pan's Flight, possibly one of the most iconic rides in the park where you soar through London. What child wouldn't love it? Well... mine.
Peter Pan's Flight can probably be counted as the single most traumatizing event of my son's life. He almost wet his pants he was so scared. I almost wet my pants thinking of the 3 days of hell I was about to experience at the Most Hated Place on Earth while he clung to me screaming and crying.
We then dialed it down, and tried out things like the carousel and Dumbo. Turns out, he loves every single ride there. Except Peter Pan. The rest of the trip wasamazi magical (except for the part where the tall one sacked Winnie the Pooh which got us in a bit of trouble.) So great, that after a hurricane wiped out our family plans for Thanksgiving, we ended up using the flight credits to go back in October. This involved something like 35 rides on Thunder Mountain. For his fourth birthday, we're doing a special "Mom & Me" trip that I'm really looking forward to.
A few tips for others thinking of going to the park, particularly with ASD:
1. Do your research. There are plenty of websites out there run by mouse devotees that will give you the inside scoop on how to maximize your time and money. It's expensive, but you can save a lot by doing some planning. Everything from grocery delivery to bringing "souvenirs" from home.
2. As part of doing your research, check out crowd calendars and ride closures. The absolute last thing you need is to show up to find out that you picked the busiest day of the month when the ride you've been talking up is closed for refurbishment. Same with the hotels. Make sure the pool, etc, isn't being refurbished.
3. YouTube videos. Unsure how your child will react? There are plenty of point of view videos for every ride in the park. Splash Mountain and Thunder Mountain Railroad are favourites in our house.
4. Social stories (obviously.) My kid loves his visuals. I really like those little Disney Golden Books for an introduction to some of classic characters.
5. Know your kid, and don't be afraid to leave the park. For us, what works best is getting there first thing in the morning, and then heading back to the hotel somewhere in the noon-4pm range. It's the busiest and hottest time in the park, and it lets us have a quiet lunch, the short one gets a nap, and the older one either goes for a swim or watches some videos. Mom can catch up on emails (hotel wifi can be sluggish in the evening), or do some quiet reading. This I find really helps in avoiding meltdowns later. You might find your non-napping child actually does have a bit of a nap. We can go back to the park, which is open way past bedtime anyway, and then check out the evening entertainment. There are also quieter areas in the park, like the water play area in Bug's Land.
6. Strollers. Ugh. Even if your kid is past stroller age, you will probably need one in the park. Might as well bring it. It's free on the plane, and they're expensive to rent. If you don't need it, leave it in the hotel room.
7.iPad. I find we don't need one in the park, though depending on your kid, it might be helpful. My kid is stimulated enough just looking at everything, but this won't be true for every ASD kid. We bring one for the plane ride and for back at the hotel.
8. Food. My kid is picky, and outside of home, that translates into junk. On vacation, I'm cool with that. EAT ALL THE CHURROS. Of course, it could get a little problematic after a few days. We run to JambaJuice in Downtown Disney to get a smoothie in the mornings and I add a fiber boost to it just to keep things running smoothly.
To start, the last time I visited one of the Disney parks was at least 20 years ago. They had only just opened up Indiana Jones, and "Colors of the Wind" was on a continual play loop throughout the park.
I had been doing some looking into going there for Christmas 2013, but research quickly showed the yuletide season to be one of the busiest of the year. Combine that with premium air and hotel prices, and well - the idea loses its appeal pretty quickly. I still had a lot of credit card points burning a hole in my pocket, so I managed to plan a spur of the moment, last minute (as in, day before!) trip in February 2014. It's pretty amazing when you think about it, especially given that the tall one's dad can be difficult to deal with. Luckily he had some work to do around his condo and it worked out better for me to take the kid off his hands. So away we went!
Mousesavers proved to be an invaluable resource. Through them we found the Howard Johnson Hotel across the street from the resort. They had a great rate and a little pirate ship playground that the tall one loved. After a ridiculously early morning flight, we grabbed some brunch then it was off to the park!
Disney is magic. Everything just seems a little brighter walking in. The first order of business, and what truly made this trip possible, was a trip to pick up the Disability Access Card. It's predecessor, the Guest Access Pass was the one which allowed you to simply walk up to the front of the line and get on the ride. This approach led to several abuses, most notably the disturbing trend of well-to-do families hiring individuals with disabilities to escort them through the parks so that they could avoid the lines. The current program doesn't allow for this. Now pick a ride to go on, and they will give you a return time for that attraction. You're still waiting, but the difference it you aren't waiting in the line and can fill you time however you wish. I know a lot of bloggers have complained at great length about this approach. All I can say is it works wonderfully for us, and is fair in that it doesn't allow us to skip ahead of other people. It's really exciting being able to take a "normal" vacation. Without this option, Disneyland wouldn't even be in the realm of possibility.
The process of obtaining the card was easy, and the Cast Member offered to put our first ride right then and there. At his recommendation, we went for Peter Pan's Flight, possibly one of the most iconic rides in the park where you soar through London. What child wouldn't love it? Well... mine.
Peter Pan's Flight can probably be counted as the single most traumatizing event of my son's life. He almost wet his pants he was so scared. I almost wet my pants thinking of the 3 days of hell I was about to experience at the Most Hated Place on Earth while he clung to me screaming and crying.
We then dialed it down, and tried out things like the carousel and Dumbo. Turns out, he loves every single ride there. Except Peter Pan. The rest of the trip was
A few tips for others thinking of going to the park, particularly with ASD:
1. Do your research. There are plenty of websites out there run by mouse devotees that will give you the inside scoop on how to maximize your time and money. It's expensive, but you can save a lot by doing some planning. Everything from grocery delivery to bringing "souvenirs" from home.
2. As part of doing your research, check out crowd calendars and ride closures. The absolute last thing you need is to show up to find out that you picked the busiest day of the month when the ride you've been talking up is closed for refurbishment. Same with the hotels. Make sure the pool, etc, isn't being refurbished.
3. YouTube videos. Unsure how your child will react? There are plenty of point of view videos for every ride in the park. Splash Mountain and Thunder Mountain Railroad are favourites in our house.
4. Social stories (obviously.) My kid loves his visuals. I really like those little Disney Golden Books for an introduction to some of classic characters.
5. Know your kid, and don't be afraid to leave the park. For us, what works best is getting there first thing in the morning, and then heading back to the hotel somewhere in the noon-4pm range. It's the busiest and hottest time in the park, and it lets us have a quiet lunch, the short one gets a nap, and the older one either goes for a swim or watches some videos. Mom can catch up on emails (hotel wifi can be sluggish in the evening), or do some quiet reading. This I find really helps in avoiding meltdowns later. You might find your non-napping child actually does have a bit of a nap. We can go back to the park, which is open way past bedtime anyway, and then check out the evening entertainment. There are also quieter areas in the park, like the water play area in Bug's Land.
6. Strollers. Ugh. Even if your kid is past stroller age, you will probably need one in the park. Might as well bring it. It's free on the plane, and they're expensive to rent. If you don't need it, leave it in the hotel room.
7.iPad. I find we don't need one in the park, though depending on your kid, it might be helpful. My kid is stimulated enough just looking at everything, but this won't be true for every ASD kid. We bring one for the plane ride and for back at the hotel.
8. Food. My kid is picky, and outside of home, that translates into junk. On vacation, I'm cool with that. EAT ALL THE CHURROS. Of course, it could get a little problematic after a few days. We run to JambaJuice in Downtown Disney to get a smoothie in the mornings and I add a fiber boost to it just to keep things running smoothly.
Friday, January 23, 2015
Someone has high hopes...
While getting in the car to go to preschool on a particularly dreary morning:
"First we go to the airport, then we go to Mexico!"
Needless to say, our car ride ended in disappointment.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Right now there are four of us. Or five, if you count the dog.
Me, obviously. There's the tall one, who's almost 4. Then the short one, who's still under 2. Then my hetero-life-partner that I pay to help with the kids and look after my shit. With two boys, a dog, and an annoying ex, there's a lot of shit involved (I guess he would be the sixth.)
Another defining characteristic to add to our household is that the tall one is autistic. Right now the main impact of that is the never ending stream of therapists going through the house and being able to get a disability pass at Disneyland. So it's not all bad.
Me, obviously. There's the tall one, who's almost 4. Then the short one, who's still under 2. Then my hetero-life-partner that I pay to help with the kids and look after my shit. With two boys, a dog, and an annoying ex, there's a lot of shit involved (I guess he would be the sixth.)
Another defining characteristic to add to our household is that the tall one is autistic. Right now the main impact of that is the never ending stream of therapists going through the house and being able to get a disability pass at Disneyland. So it's not all bad.
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